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Marriage and Celibacy

The picture is for reference only.



 

The case of a student nun murder in 1992, Kottayam, Kerala, had resurfaced recently when a verdict was passed after 28 years. Amidst the entire ruckus of being charged with murder, destruction of evidence and the church misusing its power and wealth to manipulate statements there is another problem I see which for some reason is not being addressed to the general public.

 

I’m just going to stop beating around the bush and say this:  two individuals going to great lengths to murder an innocent person is not normal but the fruit of the issue. The root is the institutionalization of religion imposed by the Church which all 3 were victims of. As long as the root is there, how much ever you cut the fruits off, they are bound to grow back. That is, overlooking how harmful forceful celibacy has proven to be is only going to make such incidences happen again.

 

The truth, how much ever church likes to deny it, is that everyone has needs, both physical and sexual, because that is simply how we’re made. I do not know if the two were in love or simply fulfilling each other’s needs, but I do have a certain amount of sympathy for them. Assuming that they were in love, the fact that two people could not openly express their love for each other due to social circumstances is something that pains me. I have seen similar situations in interfaith, intercaste and same-sex relationships. So this is not the first time.

 

But what went differently here was how they had reacted. How all of a sudden, the prestige and integrity of the church became more important. But again, this is not the first time this is happening. Until and unless we reach a time where celibacy is nothing but a personal choice, events like these will continue to flash the news.

 

Allow me to deviate a little and also take the other side of the coin into consideration. I do not think removing forceful celibacy is going to solve a huge amount of this problem. I am aware that for generations several people found solace in turning into priests and nuns simply for the fact that they could escape marriage– or the social construction of marriage, to be precise. Many people who could not openly express their love (especially women and/or those who belonged to the LGBTQIA+ community) have turned to this form of living to escape the taunts of marriage. Without the social pressure being taken off and for as long as unmarried adults are a liability to their parents, I do not know how much I would support the removal of the law that bishops, priests and nuns need to live a celibate life.

 

I’m finding a hard time to conclude this but I will frame it in the best way possible. I don’t think the acts of the clergypersons were justified. But I do strongly believe that it was an entire system that pushed them into committing it. Nobody likes to have blood on their hands. It’s the circumstances that make a lot of us do the things we don’t like to do. It’s an ugly thing to say, but it’s true. Religion, politics and our personal lifestyle are usually very connected, so taking one issue at a time without addressing the many overlappings and intertwinings it has with several other issues is close to impossible if we’re looking for a practical solution.

 

As for me, I’m glad I could vent it over here.

27.12.2020


Image credits: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0hiZwWpWnA

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