The book of Esther is the story of a Jewish girl, who gets to be Queen by hiding her identity as a Jew and almost risks her marriage to save her own people from genocide. While that takes up most of the story line there is a build up in the book which leads to Esther’s marriage that is usually not noticed or is rush read or rush explained (if you’ve been to Sunday School and/or Christian camps, that is). So in the drama of the man who built his own gallows, what exactly did we miss?
Queen Vashti. Queen Vashti, the former wife of King Xerxes, is mentioned briefly in the first two chapters of the book. While throwing a banquet for his nobles and officials, the King commanded the eunuchs who served him to bring before him his Queen because she was lovely to look at. What did she do instead? She refused to come out and, it says, that burned the King with anger.
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| Queen Vashti refusing to come out when the attendants approached her |
While that seems casually mentioned, it seems to me like the Queen was actually questioning and challenging a societal norm that had to be broken. The fact that Xerxes could call her to come and display herself to his guests anytime he liked and that she was expected to be there (I mean, why would he actually “burn” with anger if he understood that she could refuse the command?) probably did not sit well with her. Maybe this wasn’t the first time? Maybe she was fed up of being called upon to show herself? Maybe she was busy with her own banquet for the women as it says in verse 10? Or maybe she was just tired.
Nonetheless, she refused to come out (regardless of reason, she still has the right to say no, doesn’t she?) and that resulted in the King ending his marriage with her. When I read that, it makes me wonder if society has changed in any way with respect to that. From female obedience and women submissiveness being elite qualities for families to select their brides to rape cases happening in our country at about 106 a day, civilisation hasn’t really advanced much when it comes to viewing people as people. Consent has become a term most people avoid because it brings in too much pressure, too much responsibility, too much of waiting and probable rejection that seeking/waiting for a yes seems to be a burden. And so arguments like ‘She didn’t say yes but she didn’t say no either’, ‘She was drunk. Come on that’s not too bad for her then’ or the classic ‘She said yes last time so why not this time?’ are only perfect excuses to further satisfy one’s power-control hunger.
And so it was with King Xerxes. When the Queen refused to come out to display her beauty in front of the King and his guests (all of them drunk), he was furious and was frightened if this would lead to disrespect and discord from women over the empire to their own respective husbands. This power-control relationship is ruinous especially when it’s between adults (even parent-child relationships that are extremely controlling can be self demeaning, no doubt, but that’s another topic for another day). Queen Vashti held a coveted position being the emperor’s wife and it's more than likely that she was aware of the consequences of not going outside- and she still chose not to. She must’ve felt objectified knowing that displaying herself in front of her drunk husband and guests would be a trap. Her dignity and approval was what mattered to her more than the position she held. Her self esteem mattered and a power-control relationship would require an extremely low self esteem from both sides.
All the more ironic about the King calling his wife out and his expectation for her to certainly come out is when something like the reverse happens, it is a life threatening situation. In chapter 4 verse 11, Esther (also known as Hadassah) tells her cousin, Mordecai, “All the king’s officials and the people of the royal provinces know that for any man or woman who approaches the king in the inner court without being summoned the king has but one law: that they be put to death”, and further goes on to say, “But thirty days have passed since I was called to go to the king.” This whole idea of one person being able to control who gets so see whom is not even a loving relationship in the first place. Perhaps, Vashti too was tired of being the one who had to always listen. Perhaps, there were days when she yearned to meet her husband but was forbidden from doing so simply because she was not called by the king. (Which precisely, is what makes Esther the hero of her story because she had to risk her life in order to beg the king to spare her people.)
A former pastor, Jimmy Creech, elucidates the concept of marriage during Biblical times in one of his answers (on a completely different topic though – but click here to read the full article if interested) stating, ‘In regard to marriage, it's important to remember that the Bible was written in a patriarchal culture that assumed men were in control and women were subject to them. Marriage was not an equal partnership, but a matter of a man owning a woman or women as property. Women provided men companionship, children and labor. Certainly, love between the man and woman or women could develop, but love was not the basis of marriage. Consequently, the biblical concept of marriage is not appropriate today. We no longer accept the inferiority of women and superiority of men. We no longer accept marriage to be a property transaction.’ In the midst of all this, I found Queen Vashti to be firm on her grounds. I’m not promoting her or telling she’s better than the woman who’s book she’s in. I’m just trying to throw some light on some unknown heroes while our known heroes are still worthy of praise and admiration. And while a lot of us would love to name our children after Esther, I would certainly consider naming my daughter Vashti.
Image Credits: https://images.app.goo.gl/8becyYwB3ewEw8Np8
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