Silence.

(This is a confessional piece. Please read at your own discretion) 

My silence screams through the night
But no one can hear it.
It isn't your regular type of scream
It's blends with the peaceful sound of crickets.

My silence yells through my anxiety
But no one hears it.
It blends with everyone else
Those with and without, alike.

My silence yells through my depression
It howls through my self harming thoughts;
The ones that let the haemophobic me
Think of blood trickling down my skin.

My silence yells through my headaches
The frustrated study hours that make
Me want to bang my head against the ceiling.
It makes them think I'm doing okay.

My silence mocks my insufficiency
It's laughs at my frustration
Of not being intelligent enough;
It sees my failures and highlights them.

My silence isn't the silence you like.
It wails through my triumph
And rejoices in my failure.
It isn't the silence I like either.

My silence is like the hemiepiphytes
That survive by strangling and killing their hosts.
The tree and it have much in common
Parasites, of only different dimensions.

(My silence has sadly turned into my friend
So I have to get rid of it. 
Before my mind is in a state of beyond repair;
Before my mind welcomes and embraces it again.)

04.05.2018